Review First & Last Hotel - Fawkner

We celebrated our grandson's 18th birthday. The service was excellent our meals came out very promptly. The staff were courteous and the meals were great, the rump steak was cooked to perfection, the chips were nice and crisp and not soggy. We would not hesitate to go back again for any special occasion

Had dinner tonight and the food was amazing. Compliments to the chef. The service was also very good. The young lady got all our meals correct and was very friendly. Well done 👍🏼 to all the staff working tonight

Wonderful service, great food, the Wagyu steak is excellent. The staff are lovely and friendly and always go out of their way to help. Many thanks to Kathryn and Alicia for making our time there such an enjoyable experience.

Ordered the Lamb shanks with mash and vegetables as pictured on the menu. Lamb came with just mash on the side. When I mentioned it to the lady she replied it never comes with vegetables. I informed her that it's advertised with vegetables. She just shrugged and replied oh well. I then asked for a container to take my little ones dinner home in as he did not eat and was told no food is permitted to leave the premises.

The staff were so friendly and accomodating and the food, WOW, delicious and mouth-watering the bartender was very approachable with a ready smile overall impression is to have our function the second time, third,fourth and keep going. . . good job!

Service was very excellent despite the fact that there were a lot of us. Kudos to the chief for cooking an excellent meal. We will definitely come back.

Great food.. good service.. what a joke the ordering system is though..no phone no food.. no menus at all not even on the wall.. no cards accepted ..if you don't have a phone with you to pay or cash then bad luck.. according to staff they no longer have eftpos terminals..aptly named business..first and last time we will be visiting

Great hotel incredible service from bistro staff member Kathryn, the only downside was the chef today was incapable of cooking a rumpsteak medium rare. After sending the first steak back which was well done, secondsteak came out the same. Perhaps your head chef could teach this Sunday chef how to cook a steak. I ate the 2nd steak but obviously chewy an did not enjoy it. Peter Hogan.

This place doesn't deserve a rating. Was there last night. Waiting time wasn't too bad but our meals were disgusting and cold. The worst I've ever had at any restaurant. The kids menu says spaghetti and doesn't state which sauce so i assumed Bolognese as previously going there it has been Bolognese sauce. Looking at my receipt and it said Napolitana. Told the lady and she said we don't do Bolognese anymore. It would be nice if you let your customers know when ordering or put it on the menu. Anyway decided to go ahead with the pasta and fish and chips adult meals. The food came out cold. The pasta wasn't even hot enough for the cheese to melt, it tasted like boiled plain pasta thrown in with a tin of tomatoes. The fish and chips was awful. The fish was hard and dry and chips tasted so stale. We told the lady at the front because our kids refused to eat it. She had to check with her manager if it was ok to give us a refund. Not to mention the jug of flat coke we also ordered. The manager didn't even acknowledge the compliant. It took her a while to work out our refund which we got about half hr later. The young girl came out with the refund and apologised. This place needs a change of management and chef. We used to come here yrs ago and the food was good. It has been run straight into the ground. Last time i will be coming here

We had a great night for a small family dinner at the 1st and last. The 2 female staff members in the bistro were lovely and great with our kids. The steaks were beautifully cooked and of a good quality. I booked a table close to the play ground and we were at the door of it so we could enjoy our dinner and the kids played happily. Bar staff were friendly too. We will be back no question

Where do I start, Service was very poor! My meal came out very late, the people on my table had finished their meals and I hadn't even got mine yet! When I asked where my meal was, the answer I got was "its coming" ! 15 minutes later it came out.... shitty meal, chips were hard & cold & my fish was disgusting and slimy! To top it all off I didn't even get an apology for my meal being SO late!! It's called First & Last for a reason !! First time going & will be my last! DISAPPOINTED!

Discraceful service, Overpriced food I would recommend avoiding this shit hole if you want service and decent meals.

Terrible Meal, Would not recommend to anyone to go there. steak was full of fat which was covered in gravy and the chips were burnt. I complained to be girl at the counter which when she inspected our meal said that the chips didn't look very good. she said she would get the manager, we waited 10 minutes which upon the girls return she said the would offer me a Drink as compensation. as I had consumed the meal, by this time I had no evidence of how bad my meal actually was as they had taken the plate away from our table, meanwhile the manager was watching from a safe distance and did not approach us, I find this to be Very Poor service on her behalf. and as for consuming my meal I left all the chips on my plate and approx. 4 half chewed grissell filled pieces of meat and approx. 1/4 of a piece of steak which was burnt.

Fantastic food and customer service, but the play ground is disgusting and hasn’t had a decent clean or any cleaning in a long time.

Very good value for money meals. Wait staff service was excellent. Would definitely recommend to everyone in the area.

Rude staff as it was too much to ask for a menu. Ordered the kids chicken nuggets and chips. The nuggets were made of mashed up cardboard no evidence of chicken what so ever! Scotch fillet was fatty and without taste. The name befits my experience. The first and last time I will go there!

We called in for a quick snack and coffee before going to a funeral. We ordered a bruschetta and coffee. I have never seen a bruschetta like it. It was half a Turkish bread roll not cooked no oil then lightly sprinkled with strips of tomato and onion. Terrible. Last week I was there for dinner I ordered garlic prawns they were very over cooked like rubber balls. Disgusting. I will think twice before I go back.

Steak came out with chips and veg when i only wanted veg. Sent it back then it came back cold. Then tried to use a voucher that was given on the table for fathers day. Only to be told that it could not be used on that day. There was nothing stating that on the voucher. Got my discount. Dirty plates sat on our table for at least an hour after we had finished our meals. Will not be returning.

Today we had our grandmothers 91st birthday here couldn't be more dissapointed your meals took forever last meal came at 2.40 we had an 11.30 booking meals were below average we have eaten here before and enjoyed it As your name says First and Last this is our last meal here :((((((

Just tried the chef's special pork loin and it was too die for!

Worst pub in melbourne only care about the gambling addicts losing their money on the pokies. Can't even keep the sports bar open on a public holiday.

Nice service, good food, cute decor

We always go here for family birthdays. The food is value for money. We have never had a bad meal here and there is 16 of us each time. We will continue to keep going back.

What the fuck was that, if I could rate that lower I would, that place was as good as donkey shit, the service was absolutely appalling and the food was from the frozen section at Coles, the only good bit was when we walked out of that appalling shithole<br/>Hope it closes down

So bad, Shocking, Poor to be honest it should be closed down<br/>took 40 minutes to get our meals we had chicken and a stew the chicken was stone cold it was not raw as it would have been pre cooked and frozen but I had to spit it out and the stew was luke warm<br/>we sent it back and were told they would make us new ones<br/>I requested the manager to come to see us, to talk about it and a refund, first the manager didn't come just turned up with he refund when i asked for our fresh hot meals the girl told me no you have had a refund<br/>Um sorry you refunded us because you served cold food, we have been waiting 50 minutes now and we are leaving hungry as you could not cook a meal HOT<br/>its chicken you could kill someone<br/>Finally the manager came out and she was so rude ZERO customer service and 100% attitude<br/>she had to speak with the chef who didn't see they had done anything wrong!<br/>she came back after her rudeness and did say sorry but by this stage the shocking service COLD food and zero customer service we decided to leave hungry <br/>she told us her grandmother had died but thats no excuse for shocking service and serving cold chicken<br/>it wasn't busy at all<br/>shocking! <br/>and worst of all was the way we were treated for cold food and crap service if i could give it a zero thats what they will get<br/>Chef should be fired, manager should be fired and the owners should close the doors<br/>I am a head chef and we own a very busy cafe and if my staff did this they would no longer work for us<br/>CUSTOMERS COME FIRST but not at this place<br/>Management = RUDE don't give a stuff and excuse after excuse

I was a bit worried about eating here after all the reviews but I can honestly say this was a pleasant experience. Not only was the food delicious but the service was fantastic as well. Will definitely be back!

Absolutely terrible. Came with the family, including a 91 year old elderly for her weekly outing, the place was empty, not a single soul sitting at the bar. After waiting 20 minutes, this rude, uncivilised, and 40 something year old woman came out telling us to wait more or leave. No doubt this would be the first and last time that our family will ever enter this sh*t hole.<br/>

Literally the first and last time we dine at this venue!! Calamari, graziers pie and parmigiana were from a frozen package. Roasted "pumpkin" salad didn't live up to its name. Service was below average...never again!!

If you’ve been watching the hit new HBO show Westworld you’ll know what I mean when I say that the First & Last Hotel is exactly like that … Except much lower quality and with more pokies – Although all of the staff passed the Turing test with flying colours, so points there.

Going to a pub for lunch generally isn't the best option, and sadly this was the case with the First and Last Hotel. <br/>The food was very bland and over priced, only two couples in their at lunch time and the service was slow.

How the friggin hell did I get roped into eating here again?????? <br/>Overpriced, undersized, pre-packaged, pre-heated but the salt and pepper tasted good. Are these people for real?????  I'd rate this sooooo negative

Disappointed. My fourth and my LAST. the times ive been here front staff at the meals area have been completely rude, meals can take upto an hour to serve. Honestly where do you hire your staff, yesterday was the final strike. Sad because its local.

The food was over priced and absolute rubbish never never never again I keep giving it one more chance cause I live nearby but this is it .. The manager was very rude as well..

Pretty obviously a pokies cash cow. Basically, this pub is owned by a conglomerate who appear to care nothing about it as it seems to be just one of many they run to clean out the hoppers from the 'one armed bandits' (with buttons now). Poor blighters! It doesn't seem that the owners would even bother visiting the pub, let alone eat here - they'd employ an overseer (one who gets on with and who cares about the locals!) They advertise that they strive to be at the heart of our local community by providing a place for friends to meet, for families to relax and to host local functions and events. Across the entire 'pub group' they "collect and donate" $1.5 million dollars each year to charity. ($1.5 million out of all those pubs isn't asking as much as you think out of each pub - how much of that is donated by punters?) They are the unofficial ‘clubhouse’ for a number of local sporting teams - a place to re-convene after matches, sell raffle tickets, celebrate victories and commiserate losses. (Although I notice that every ALH pub in Victoria has more or less the same spiel on their website too - so how fair dinkum is it?) The company name is Australian Leisure and Hospitality Group Pty Ltd and they run around 80 hotels in Victoria, including some 5,480 poker machines. ALH Group operates a portfolio of 328 licensed venues across Australia. So they are obviously struggling to make ends meet and this explains the minimal number of 'specials' of any real description at The First and Last (although they do run the odd competition and take a couple of dollars off selected drinks at happy hour). So it is understandable that the pub is marketed as being available for wakes. Aside from the restaurant there are few (except pokie seats) chairs available amongst the myriad (70) poker machines. Maybe they have successfully argued that those seats in front of the gaming machines are where you are supposed to sit and enjoy a quiet ale - whilst relaxingly staring at the machine in front of you. (Is that Responsible Service of Gaming?) You could move the seat away from the gaming machine I suppose, but the incessant chimes and whistles would make it hard to sit there for too long. According to the Venue Guidelines as agreed to by the Victorian Gaming Industry Responsible Gambling Code of Conduct, staff are supposed to offer the customer some refreshments (eg: cup of tea or coffee) in a quieter, more private part of the gaming venue, if a person is found gambling for 'extended periods'. Aside from the restaurant when it is not busy, where is that part of the venue? Do they have to go and sit outside or in the staff office if the restaurant and public areas are busy? Shouldn't there be sectioned off areas with different bars? I don't think the staff there are sure themselves about what type of venue this is as bar staff have told me this isn't a 'public bar'. (I notice they only have a single large jug for the special deal when the football is on - nobody even bothers/I had to teach the barperson how to make a lemon, lime and bitters.) The restaurant has a sign asking you to wait to be seated, is this the 'lounge bar' for drinkers to sit too? This is an odd arrangement if that is being suggested and certainly not conducive to attracting the average punter in for a couple of quiet drinks. A staff member has suggested to me that the seats in the restaurant area up a couple of steps and to the right of the post and rail fence is available for drinkers - although it is clearly shared with/part of the restaurant. (have eaten in that section a couple of times). That leaves about three or four small tables immediately beside the bar as the 'lounge bar'/a few people could theoretically 'lean on the bar' - is that it? Is that even comfortable and set aside for drinkers? How on earth did that pass muster - at any level? The honest woman/bloke looking for a quiet space to enjoy a beverage has most certainly been 'squeezed out' as there is no extant 'lounge bar'. (So I wrote this for her/him.) There is a Sports Bar that is attached to the pub as it is cut off - this must be the space for drinkers used to convince the powers that be that they have provided for everyone. However, if you sit there you're still exposed to gambling (it's all around you) and it's no lounge area. Just another place to extract gambling revenue from the public and no place to take a family/older parent/wife, etc or even sit quietly yourself. They really got away with that one. How can a pub be a public house if there is no lounge area. Those seats beside the main bar cannot possibly be called a lounge area. Who is responsible for allowing this to happen? The First and Last Hotel management aren't going to argue about it because they've won and they know we've been dudded and that there really is no come back on them. So they're not even going to maintain the place properly. They just sit back and reap the windfall from all their revenue. What about the locals though? What about the people who visit the Fawkner Cemetery and simply ignore the place. Does this area have a champion? Are we that low on the scale of things that this is what we deserve? Food lacklustre at best and not reasonably priced/subsidised by the pokies. Food is comparatively expensive ($19.00 to $29.00 for a steak/no cheap steak night - can they cook one anyway?) Several pubs within a short car journey have steak/parma nights for $12.00 to $15.00. You can get a $10.00 meal in the Sports Bar (where you actually have to walk outside to come back into) but they are not as big as the restaurant meal and don't seem as good quality. Why can't they reduce the restaurant meals one or two nights a week? In April, a report in the Sydney Morning Herald showed ALH chief Bruce Mathieson saying that market conditions for hotel operators generally have been tough, but a focus on ''value'' meals helped push total sales in ALH for the December half of 2013 up 3.8 per cent to $788 million. What happened with The First and Last? No "value" meals here. This means that the owners are milking this cash cow for all they can and giving nothing back, especially bad considering the amount of revenue raised by the poker machines. They are taking us for fools and they know it. Maybe the Venue Manager is trying to ingratiate her/himself with Mathieson by offering the public the absolute minimum in terms of quality "value meal" options - with the figures looking that bit better at the end of the year. This goes against what Mathieson himself has preached to the paper. What happened to looking after the locals? The published figure for the total amount lost by players at The First and Last during the 2012/13 financial year was $9,889,920.48 and 2013/14 was $9,569,307.98. (Google it - for it is available in the public domain.) After expenses were taken out what happened to the profits? For example, the restaurant is obviously in need of a coat of paint - how much would that have cost? Have a look when you go in there and see if you can find where they've spent some money recently. Can somebody start a campaign at the council to enforce some changes to their license to drastically reduce the number of pokie machines here? The current board of directors (as opposed to publican) wont like it and will sell up quick. Maybe then we can get a pub we deserve instead of being treated like second class citizens (i.e. people who desperately lose money at the pokies and don't purchase a meal). Unlike another pub further up Sydney Rd at least you can get a meal here (should be glad I know). How do these licenses get approval? Is everybody too docile to say anything? When does it come up again for renewal? Keep on their hammer. I don't expect the Savoy in London, but this is ridiculous. Contact your local MP, Kelvin Thompson, Frank McGuire, anti-pokies campaigner Nick Xenophon, Moreland Councillors for the North -West Ward - Helen Davidson and John Kavanagh (even if you don't reside there because they need to improve the quality of life for their constituents/visitors), etc. PLEASE. In all correspondence, please remember that government representatives have let this pub get to this stage and don't let them get away with telling you any untruths. Life is too short to put up with this rubbish.

Ordered a Scotch fillet steak from the choices Including Porterhouse and Rump. Paid extra for the Scotch and you guest it, a rectangle slice of meat arrived that was clearly Porterhouse! The manager tried in vain to tell me they regard this cut of meat Scotch fillet. He even went back into the kitchen and referred to the chef who apparently said the same thing. They cut their Scotch rectangle! My wife's Parma was terrible and cold. If you don't care what you are eating, are happy to pay extra for the wrong cut of meat and don't care if your meal is hot or cold, eat here. Oh and the staff are kids who sadly don't care or have received no waitering training. A huge miss!

Well named; visited for the first and last time !!. After a cemetery visit decided to visit for lunch because of nearby proximity ---- BIG mistake !!<br/>Tired and tawdry décor should have been the hint of what was to come. Waited and waited at entrance of bistro to be seated. Finally surly young female arrived and showed us to a table and provided menus. We four made our selections and approached desk to order. Yet again no one in site for at least 10mins. We sought out a manager who summoned the surly one who entered bistro by kicking kitchen door open. Placed orders. Food arrived in a timely manner and was surprisingly O.K., despite having to ask for tartare sauce that should have come with our order. Venue vouchers as part of our order were not provided until asked for and reluctantly given. <br/> Bar service pathetic and basic staff knowledge abysmal. During our visit MANY customers arrived at the bistro and no -one was there to meet/greet ,leaving them perplexed and wondering if indeed the bistro was open or not.<br/>They advertise they are available to cater for wakes due to their closeness to Fawkner cemetery. All I can say is don't even think about it !!! Décor is rubbish but heaps of missed opportunities to upsell and provide a reasonable standard of service.

Not one vegetarian option on the entire menu. Had to order a Caesar salad with no bacon or anchovies. The poached egg was freezing cold and a bit icy on the bottom and had clearly been prepared earlier and pulled out of the fridge. It was $16.90 and the worst Caesar salad I've ever had. Fo that price one would think they could as least cook the egg fresh! I couldn't even eat it.

Tacky surroundings and the worst chocolate mousse ever!. From the moment you walk into the First and Last with its tacky fibreglass horse sticking out of the wall and pretend cowboy looking them, you realise you're not in a classy hotel. Add to that their sign on the outer wall saying that they specialise in wakes (they are near Fawkner crematorium) and you wonder if you're on a winner before you walk in the door.<br/><br/>Our waitress arrived to seat us, then told us to sit where we liked and walked off! She was very pleasant and friendly though. The tables have the cutlery sitting upright in pretend wine barrels with table numbers on them (like I said, it's class all the way here!) with cheap take away style napkins.<br/><br/>The menu is quite varied and has a bit of everything. We had brushetta, which was nice, although it lacked balsamic. I had satay chicken skewers with rice which were quite OK, although I asked for vegetables which consisted of a small piece of pumpkin and a large piece of broccoli. My partner had the seafood basket, which he said was terrible and not at all fresh (although he can be fussy when it comes to the freshness of seafood). I had chocolate mousse for dessert, which was very cheap at $4 for a sundae sized glass. It was the oldest, stalest and foulest mousse I have ever eaten! To top it off, it was served with a plastic spoon! How hard is it to provide REAL cutlery! That was enough for us and we left.<br/><br/>I think this place is aptly named - when you go there, it'll be your first and last time!

PARMA PARMA PARMA. Parma night at the First and Last hotel is not like any other. $13 and you get a choice of 10 ( all chicken) so it's just like a pizza only it's a Parma. I had the Mexican. Imagine a Parma without the ham but it had jalepinos. Then topped with melted cheese, sour cream and avocado. Yes $13 Parma nights are everywhere but at this hotel It's a little different with a choice of toppings. We will be going back.

Disappointment. I was a regular at this Hotel, residing locally. I had the porterhouse steak tonight that was like cardboard with a bitter sauce. The chips were sitting around too long and tasted stale and the salad served was a few leaves. I will think twice about eating there again.

Food is average ... waited at the door for at least 10minutes with a few staff members not even making an effort to notice we where there... granted they were busy but a simple "sorry wont be long" would have been nice.... food was average and probably wouldnt go out of my way to go back there!

Disgusting steak ! I think management should read these reviews amd clean up there act instead of sitting there with their fingers up their a$$ . READ THESE COMPLAINTS about the crap your serving your customers ! Sack you cook ( it couldnt possibly be a chef if the person cant even cook steak)

Worst hotel, service so slow over 1 hour wait when they quiet food quality was disgusting manager unhelpful, smoke machine broken, no security service is slower in a disability unit the worst restaurant ever

Worst Pub Meal Ever. Went there last night in a group. The meals were disgusting. The sweet chilli pork sirloin sauce was like a sauce out of a bottle with the pork being overcooked. The oriental vegetables were like leftover vegetables. The fish in the seafood deluxe was tasteless. Hubby says he wouldn't use it for bait. Wedges were not eaten as they were burnt. Service was very poor. Arrived at 6.30pm and meals arrived at 8.00pm and there were no entrees to hold up the mains. The pub was not crowded. The advertised seafood special for Sundays was not on. We won't be going there again.

Overpriced. The food here is hit and miss. I've eaten here quite a few times, as I used to live just down the road and friends liked to eat here. Have had some decent dishes - some were slightly above standard pub food level, some just on the line. But all up it is WAY too expensive for what you get. Staff are friendly and accommodating - the guy who usually takes orders is an absolute gem.

So we feel like some simple pub fare and took a drive to what was once an ok place. Not now.aviod. I ordered an eye fillet on mash. It comes out served with chips and salad. The salad reminds me of Coles The salad was like a prepacked Coles type with a drizzle of mayo. The fish and chips was served with the same salad and chips and was oily my guest sadly informed. Maybe try the Pascoe vale pub instead.

Group of 10 of us there for dinner tonight. I'd say at 2/3 capacity (ie was not full.) Waited for at least an hour for entrees, we were given a comp garlic bread as a result. Ordered a $31 porterhouse 'rare' and it was completely well done. After a further 45 minute wait, could not be bothered returning it. Do not bother. Even the chips were bad! So overpriced for really poor quality food.

I've Found my New Local. Great Value. What can i say, i just moved to the area and i need not look any further for my local. I expected not much but was pleasently suprised. The Seafood Deluxe Platter was huge and presented beautifully. All of the family loved it and i would recomend this place to anyone. Well Done!

LOVES IT!. OOOOO MMMMMM GEEEE!<br/><br/>Without question, the best risotto I've ever eaten. Cannot wait to get back there!

Best in the Local Area (and I'd know). A very friendly and warm hotel. The service was fantastic. It was good to see more than your run of the mill menu too. I ate a huge gormet mixed grill which was brilliant, my wife ate a $10 Parma and my kids ate for free (whilst being entertained by a free clown) Great value great service great price. Highly recomended

Its good. I like it and the playground is good 4 children and the food is GREAT!!! i wll go there more often

First, and last time. We thought we'd give it a try as our local, despite the many warning signs (the Tabaret, highway/cemetary views and auspicious "faux western" theme).<br/>Main meals are outrageously priced given the location and type of venue - steak and chips came with a $30 price tag. They say that in life you get what you pay for, but whoever they are have clearly never dined at the First & Last.<br/>"Do you make a good steak?", I asked the teenager at the counter. "It's huge", he replied. I would normally have left at this point, but our children had already spotted the play equipment and were nowhere to be seen.<br/>At least the kid at the counter was honest, it was huge - bordering on grotesque actually. Unfortunately, this made it all the more difficult to consume as it was also truly awful.<br/>First and Last. As I was leaving, I realised just how appropriate that name was.

For your local "taberet" pub, the prices are way over the top and not worthy of the $28 pricetag for your average meal. I don't see "kids eat free" as a massive drawcard as generally places that do charge, charge very little, playground needs a major update, as does the external perimeter of the entire building. Overall - dissapointing, felt ripped off afterwards.

When we first moved into the area we thought we'd give the First and Last a try as it is the only pub nearby. Incredibly disappointed would be the best way to describe it. Tacky western theme. Revolting food. Outrageously overpriced. And pokies!? Need I say more! Such a nice old building with potential to be a great pub. Time for an upgrade to reflect the changing demographic!!

Sol. The First & Last Hotel was a refreshing experiance for a pub meal. The Kids do eat free Mon, Wed, Fri and we ate $10 Parmas on Thursday. The meals were great and kids were well ammused by the play area. The menu is more adventurous than your average pub.<br/>Great family value

Having 2 little kiddies we thought it was time to try out the local bistro. We walked in and the first thing we noticed (apart from the bad Western theme) was the stench of old cigarettes. sat down, checked out the menu and was floored by the prices. Staff were really lovely and friendly, food was below average. In a nut shell, not affordable for the average family, which is too bad considering that is their market. Overpriced for crappy food. But the kids had a ball and loved their frog in a pond desert.

Over priced. Thought the kids eat for free on mon and wed was going to be a new outting for myself and the family when we moved just next door basicly... however for the type of tabaret venue that it is, the prices were ridiculous!! Miss moving from Flemington where a similar venue Jbjs/ Newmarket tavern fed us all for about $15each at the most, with cheap wine and massive serves... cant believe how how expensive this first and last hotel is!! - Not getting any of my business with cheaper down the road- real shame!!

Over priced and crappy food.... Ordered a grilled plate and chicken param. Every item on the grilled plate tasted the same. I could not tell the differnce in flavour between the beef, snags or checken. Maybe they need to clean their grill.<br/>The chicken parma was a very poor attempt at what should be any pub's prize dish.