Review Satellite Cafe - Sydney

Ordered their signature croissant sandwich and chili question. The croissant was super greasy although the first bite truly made me happy. The pan fried eggplant was way too salty. It feels like they have put an entire bottle of chili sauce in it. The food menu was very short as well. Even the dish they posted on ins one day ago was not available…..

Excellent Cafe. I really like this place. I had breakfast - "One flew over the cuckoos nest", a nutty/kale and egg treat. Delicious. Staff were very friendly and helpful. Highly recommended.

Trendy, pet friendly. A lil slow on the service but great spot. Food wasn't too bad but it wouldn't be my first choice.

Fab food - the avocado on toast with poached egg was perfect and a generous serving of avo. Staff were incredibly friendly and really efficient. Nice spot to sit and people watch. Would definitely go again!

Great little place next to Newtown station, with some very different breakfast delights! Reasonably priced, very friendly service, great coffee and delicious food. We had the McCuckoo and the Chilli Question and were both pleased and full!

Located right next to the station is this nice looking cafe. Very hip and fitting for Newtown. Coffee is good, doesn’t have lactose free milk (for those with intolerances). We were given our menus- and firstly we noted (wife and I) that there weren’t many options. I decided to go with the chilli scrambled eggs with mushroom and eggplant xo sauce. Was not a fan of this sauce (I don’t like eggplant) and would of preferred sautéed mushrooms (did ask to have eggplant removed). My wife didn’t have much to choose from as she is gluten free (coeliac). She got avocado and poached eggs, which was done well, but there was a lot of garnish (which I find a waste). The interior decor is nice, but needs a fan or air conditioning; was very hot. Price wise; slightly on the expensive end. Overall good coffee, but slightly disappointed with the food, particularly when it was recommend to us to go. I wish there were a few more food options.

Located immediately next to the train station makes for a perfect stop off spot. The cafe has a vibrant and modern aesthetic with good coffee. Get the Cuckoo’s Nest breakfast - SO GOOD!

Hey locals! If you want something extraordinary good-looking on your plate, something that will get your taste buds in the move - this is the right place where to go! I have been trying different cafes in the area but I always get regularly looking food with a regular taste. (You know... it’s easy to play safe, right?) But then I discovered Cuckoo Calley and bam! This is exactly what I need. Food is delicious and nicely presented. The staff is friendly, polite and their service is on the point. Their coffee doesn't have a competition in the area at all and I cannot imagine starting my day without one. I had a brunch there a couple of hours ago and now I am lying on my sofa with a food coma writing this review because people should know about this place more! 👌🏼💕 Thank you Cuckoo Calley Newtown team! ☺️

IT IS AGAINST THE AUSTRALIAN CONSUMER LAW TO CHARGE A PUBLIC HOLIDAY SURCHARGE WITHOUT ADVERTISING IT TO YOUR CUSTOMER.  Otherwise great food in a kind of garage-band locale, but the experience was really soured by the person at checkout insisting that the Department of Fair Trading made them charge a 15% surcharge, which is utter rot (I work in this area), and seeing this was not mentioned on the menus or on a chalkboard by the counter this is actually illegal to do because the customer is being forced to pay additional costs they were not made aware of at the time of agreeing to pay for the food.  I wordlessly paid the surcharge but this has really soured me on the experience and they could have trouble renewing their licence if enough complaints are made to the ACCC.  Very worrying behaviour.

I went here for a catchup and to try the magic mushies. They’re sooo good!!! Great food and coffee and cool funky place. To quote Arnie: I’ll be back

An underground and subversive styled cafe which did not disappoint. Coffee was reasonable. Staff were friendly and they accommodated our needs.

Humble little spot. Great coffee, like really great! The human making it took time with it and it made all the difference. The menu was interesting but difficult to read. The Hash smash was a really good representation on how Newtown used to be. Using affordable, whole food ingredients that gave you everything you need. Reminds me of being a student.

Satellite Cafe is a unique cafe in Newtown. It's sister restaurant District in Marrickville also has character. I drop by on a lazy Sunday morning for brunch. Satellite is a cosy little restaurant however if you have a look around, it's like a mini art museum with skulls (not real ones), art work on the walls/roof as well as random pieces like this mannequin body below.

Great relaxed vibes & awesome, welcoming staff. Coffee is strong and delicious & fun menu- lots of fresh, herbaceous veg options. Love this place!!!!! <br/>

I really wanted to like this place but the service was disappointing and extremely rude.<br/>Unfortunately there's a lot of potential in this cafe but the staff needs good etiquette lessons on how to be nice with customers who are actually nice and not giving you a hard time!

Possibly the worst cafe I have ever been to. Dirty, filth everywhere and rude staff. <br/><br/>While serving staff was scratching head and picking nose. <br/><br/>The atmosphere was good with indoor plants and art. But these were only good to look at as plants were hosting all dirt and insects. Floor looked like it hasnt been cleaned in ages. Above all the staff doesnt seem to care. Such a waste of money. <br/><br/>Coffee 3/5<br/>Food 1/5<br/>Service 0/5<br/>Affordability 1/5<br/><br/>Would not recommend at all. <br/><br/><br/><br/>

Super Sambo's (sandwiches), great atmosphere, and service.<br/><br/>Ordered a variety of meat sandwiches which were great. The ingredients fresh and generous.<br/><br/>The coffee is fabulous and they have s great collection of cheese.

Coffee was good but service was rude and pretentious. Attended for brunch with 4 friends and made to sit in the corner next to buckets catching water from the leaking air conditioning and surrounded by fruit flies. As mentioned the coffee was good but on leaving was asked to pay a dollar surcharge for avocado for a menu item listed as avocado and tomato. Probably would have paid had the serving not been so tiny and the service so poor. To top it off, the waitress remarked "you're just visiting Newtown aren't you" on our way out. Bad attitude, plenty of places in Newtown that are more friendly and clean.

Satellite is one cool cucumber. Multicoloured chairs, hanging plants, indie rock blasting, you name it...

Love satellite cafe, different options when it comes to food, coffee is always good the music it's WOW and the art on the walls it's rad. Staff always smiley cute and attendant, lovely owner and yet one of my favourites in Newtown.

Dirty Ensalada. Slurpin filthy!!!:) and so good!

Staff were nothing short of rude and impatient, were not flexible to our dietary needs, blatantly told us to go elsewhere if we didn't like it. 0/10

Food was different and the menu a bit hard to understand but the food was fantastic. Great combination of flavours. Staff were friendly. Would highly recommend.

A unexpected treat. Menu and flavours a bit hard to get your head around but taking a chance. found staff fantastic and helpful. We had the potato mash. it was so nice we ordered another meal to share after it was finished. We have a son that was getting into everthing and the staff help as much as they could. will be back again and again.

Lovely people working here, but food is average and today, not as described.<br/><br/>Ordered a bacon and egg roll. Got a sandwich in door steps.

I live nearby and hadn't been here yet, but now never will since you're not welcome to BYO food for your baby ie breastfeed.

Disappointing that Breast-feeding parents aren't welcome at this cafe. I went elswhere.

Mediocre. Coffee was alright, food was mediocre considering the fancy names. Service came with attitude. Won't be back. Try Barmuda down at Australia street for fantastic service and delicious good, or Luxe for coffee.

WHere to start!. Being a Newtown local- and a habitual lazy sunday bruncher- I have been to most cafes in around my place....and have been to Satellite many a time....under many different owners.....it seems to be constantly changing owners. But the latest incarnation stand out....ok- they are extremely ambitious- the menu has taken a lot of effort- but geeze- it doesnt matter how you present it- if the attitude and the food are rotten- whats the point? And thats my point- my partner and i were here last week and frankly i can relate to a few other reviews i have read. I got the scrambled eggs with hash browns (they had a fancy name- but i tell you- far from fancy- the scrambled eggs were beyond watery- they made my hash browns soggy......disgusting. When i spoke to the "lady" that runs the joint she called me a whinger!<br/>Have these people forgotten who their customers are- we are the ones that allow you to exist.....my money and my custom will go elsewhere! <br/>Satellite- go orbit another planet!

Well below par for Newtown. Ate here once and will never go again. Coffee was worse than starbucks and the food was inedible. When I mentioned this to the owner I was effectively told not to come back. I won't be.

Gone downhill - avoid. This place has gone downhill. I went here recently for brunch. Staff were pretentious. Spent more time air kissing mwa mwa than assisting customers. The food took a long time and was ordinary, despite the elaborate menu description. Plenty of better options in Newtown.

Dodgy ratings. We went here last week and was not particularly impressed with the place or staff. Found the menu pretentious and a bit misleading and the food very average.<br/><br/>Anyway, after reading the news about how unwelcoming this place is for mothers & children recently, so looked this place up again last night and the rating for 57%... But this morning, noticed that the rating jumped up to 75% even before it was opened for business!!?? Now you don't have to be an eye surgeon to work out that something dodgy is going on... It makes you wonder whether the owners are manipulating the ratings or whether urbanspoon is really impartial!! (in which case, this review will no doubt be deleted)

We attended satellite two weeks ago on a Saturday- probably our worst dining experience In about a year. Food took nearly 45 minutes to arrive on our table- when it did, it was cold. Our complaints were met with attitude... There are so many places to eat in Newtown- you would be best to try elsewhere. I'm my opinion- avoid.

Dis-gustation. Food & service was not great. Will not be back.

Satellite: 'An offence to Humanity'. Coffee was as bitter as the owner and indifferent staff. Definitely won't be back. <br/>Maybe they're mates with 'Hoo Haa' in Melbourne??

Really nice friendly staff, good coffee and tunes. The scram eggs #1 w relish was simple and delicious. Really good frappes too.

Really good macchiatos today- lil marionette have been roasting some good beans lately. Peppermint tea ok but no wow factor. Vibe daggychic. Will be back to try food. Coffee worth going back for...

Good for coffee but not sure about the food. I visited Satellite recently after about a year or two and it has changed not just in decor but food. The menu is even more inventive although it does comes off a bit 'too cool for school' with things like EVOO on it. Nevertheless the coffee was strong and smooth and the Dirty Ensalada made of warm roasted vegetables including beetroot, potato, pumpkin and basil stirred through brown rice with a light dressing was rich and satisfying, if seriously lacking seasoning. The scrambled eggs with fetta, caramelised onion and herbs were overdone and a bit dry, as was the big slice of toast they came on. Funky and charming with good ideas on the menu but they're not executed as well as you might expect from those too fancy descriptions on the menu.

The Ultimate Hangover Cure!. THE BEST bacon and egg roll on the planet. Satellite has nursed me through many a hangover and the coffee is great too! Second favorite breakfast joint in Newtown (nothing will knock Varga Bar off it's perch!)

I have frequented this place for over 2 years and have never been disappointed.... I'm going to put it out there - BEST EGGS IN SYDNEY.<br/>The service and food is always high quality. If you enjoy going to unique cafes, that are passionate about their coffee and food, then Satellite is sure to be a pleasant exsperience. <br/><br/>I've tried almost everything on the menu and I would say the v-roll is my favorite, and for a bargain price of $9.00, it's a crime not to get it. <br/><br/>If you are in a rush, not up to trying something different, or want your food minuets after you order it, then this isn't your place. But if you want personalised service and a meal that warms yours tummy, then be sure to put Satalite on your radar.

I dig this place. Try the Smash Hash (Browns) - I had it with haloumi. Very nice!!

Best community cafe in Newtown. Gwenda Gwenda, I was intrigued by your vitriol so I read your other cafe reviews, all of which focus on how 'hot/striking' staff are and issues like how serviettes are rolled around cutlery, 'inappropriate plate sizes' and the 'visual prelude' of sandwiches.<br/><br/>Might I suggest you stick to fine dining establishments which you seem to favourably review, and give cafes a miss. You clearly think staff in service industries should be obsequious to your superior culinary knowledge and pedantic tastes. (PS there is a handwashing basin in the kitchen for staff.) <br/><br/>I am writing this because this place has amazing coffee and well above standard cafe food and quite frankly I was shocked by your essay/tirade. Satellite is always full of local regulars like me for a reason. Coffee and food to die for, enough said!

Yummy fresh food, big meals good price really friendly staff. Only thing I would say is that the design inside is a bit undone trying be mismatched and eclectic but not quite pulling it off. But I got over that pretty quickly once the food came out :) highly recommend this place!!

Is this place actually a cafe?. We sat at our table for about 15 minutes waiting for a menu, or any acknowledgement whatsoever from staff. When we tried to get their attention it was as if they were trying to avoid eye contact.<br/><br/>Can't really judge the food fairly since we ended up walking out, but from what we saw at the table next to us it looked pretty awful.<br/><br/>Too cool for school, I guess. Will not be back.

Service?. Every time I go here the service becomes worse and worse. <br/><br/>Yes, it's friendly service but that's not enough. Taking 10 minutes to bring water (not menues as we'd fetched those ourselves) then apologising for being 'slammed' when the cafe is half empty isn't good enough either. And that's one tiny example of how inconsistent this place is.<br/><br/>The chatty staff are too chatty and don't seem to realise they're there to work. It's a shame. The food is good but the service means I won't be going back.

Please stop asking your friends to review!. I came here with my partner for breakfast yesterday and have to say it was one of the worst experiences ever. The place looked like a squat for all intents and purposes, that was the effect they were going for. But the menu? The menu is pitiful with only a few non vegetarian items and it bordered on the inane with descriptions such as scrabbled eggs with mushroom SALT. The menu looked like a cryptic dadaist cut up piece with random words stuck together to form a hieroglyph that can only be deciphered by the select and (I might add) self appointed few. Maldon sea salt is fine to mention on the menu if the rest of the menu made sense but since the whole exercise is merely someone's desperate attempt to cultivate mystique, a breakfast item description that reads 'evvo, eggs, Maldon, hash' is just off-putting. My partner nonetheless selected the mushroom and eggs breakfast and when he got his dish, there was no mushrooms in sight - turns out it was "mushroom salt" that was written on the menu. The presentation was non existent and taste was even worse. Home cooked breakfasts that go drastically wrong in our kitchen has tasted better than the slop that this place had on offer. What they lacked in decor and culinary skills the waiter tried to make up for with his over the top displays of effusive histrionics, that bordered on satire. As if presenting an extraordinary exotic culinary treat,<br/>he placed my meal down with the pronouncement of a courtier at a royal banquet, "And here we have the hash, peas and toast" and as I looked down at the slop that was placed before me, I saw that the Desiree potatoes that was on the menu now was a half burnt starchy bit of scrapings that were placed on the plate with the rest of the ingredients and I couldn't believe he expected anyone to possibly eat that. Like a previous reviewer said, the chefs in this joint must surely never eat what they serve up because if they did, they would know that it is inedible. Absolutely disgusting. So there can't be there that large a discrepancy in taste, unless the owners (Matlock et al) are asking their friends high and low to review this place. Because if it was left up the ordinary cafe-goer to review this cafe it would be shamed and named.

Vibrant fresh menu good value. I have never experienced bad service at this cafe and the quality of the menu is excellent and fresh>>><br/>The staff are all very friendly and have positive energy..<br/>I love that they have a very different offer and the French Toast is fantastic..and the eggs always good..<br/>try them out..<br/>Gwenda why be so mean spirited..

Yes satellite has changed hands and the food is both interesting and delicious. The staff are friendly and all I can say about previous review miss expert in everything Gwenda is you must be so much fun to go dining with.

Orbit stabilised. Well, Satellite has changed again recently and it is definitely a step up. It is a cool, relaxed place to chill over breakfast or lunch or just a coffee. The staff are cool, relaxed, friendly and attentive. Fine maybe seasonal tuning is still happening on the menu, but the food on the plate, at least for brunchfast, is good. Scrambled eggs are soft and light and rich and tasty. Ham is off the bone and tasty. Coffee is rich and not bitter.<br/><br/>You will still have a wait for brunchfast if is busy, regulars will understand why, but now it is definitely worth waiting for.

Coffee, ok...food, NO WAY!. Approaching the premises, I became rather excited on such a sunny morning. I really love a Cafe breakfast. I have one every day. I could smell the coffee. <br/><br/>My first experience, was being greeted at the counter by an immaculately groomed and striking woman. The same lady I had just seen leaving the toilet located beside the premises not a few moments earlier. I had hoped the Amenities were equipped with a hand basin and soap, as my reception didn't permit adequate time for hygiene. I was served straight from the toilet, as it were. <br/><br/>And just on that, if you've spotted a customer observing you leaving the Staff Amenities then it would serve as appropriate to engage some sensitivity and announce, "I won't be a moment, I'll just wash my hands". It's an old one, but it works. At least 15 seconds please.<br/><br/>If your compelled to eat here then I recommend skipping the two unbalanced and small, white circular tables on the inside right of the entrance, unless you want to be the focus of attention when your drinking vessel falls smashing to the floor into one thousand pieces.<br/><br/>Nevertheless, I am a forgiving girl and I move on to another table. I am happy to wait if the food is great. But still, the events unfold. Please, when clearing a table where a customer is seated, cup the cleaning cloth and move away from the perimeter of the table and to the centre. I ended up covered in crumbs, none of which were mine. I'd not even eaten by this stage.<br/><br/>Ham and scrambled eggs with a side of Mushrooms. When they say Ham, I thought it would have been served hot, given the rest of the meal was cooked. But no... the most revolting sandwich sliced, soccer ball ham. Cold cuts to be precise. The round stuff Mummy puts on your lunch at school, was neatly plopped onto the side of my plate... cold, vile, inedible! I thought it must have been a bad joke. Ham actually is a step up from Bacon and never a step closer to Devon. Ghastly. <br/><br/>I try the eggs and yes they are most certainly eggs and nothing more. I could go on about the science of scrambled eggs but you just won't get it. However, the solution is really simple - use a whisk and a wooden spoon with a dash of full cream milk, don't just beat the eggs and scrape them it into a hard blob on the hotplate. Scrambled Eggs are light and fluffy. This was just like the old TAA inflight variety. I doubt the staff have ever eaten what they are serving.<br/><br/>And now the field mushrooms... sauteed in water with very fine slices of dirty green shallot stalk. Have they been strained from the dishwater in the kitchen sink and then thrown onto my plate? What a rotten sensation. Shallot is not Garlic Chives. And we weren't just celebrating the field mushroom on this occasion, Enoki had been thrown into the mix presenting as a snot like substance, hanging from my fork. Enoki does not work in this dish. There is no need for two types of mushroom. Heard of butter and a frypan?<br/><br/>I finished about half of the meal, the coffee was ok, a larger cup would be great. At a $20 charge for breakfast of this standard (even if it is "... near Pretty Dog, off the strip") is adding insult to injury... oh no hang on, it was just plain, plain, plain insult. I will never return to your establishment again. I had indigestion for the rest of the day. <br/><br/>Satellite... you are way off the radar!