Jade Valley Restaurant

Jade Valley.  it is one of those simple, no fuss 'Chinese' restaurants, serving the type of Chinese food that, to a Chinese person, is as believably Chinese as Hong Kong Phooey.  It is what white Australians want when they think they are being brave and eating 'foreign' food.

What I actually love the most about this place is the owner.  She is a sweet, easy to smile lady who (though I never would) you just want to cuddle.  Her pronunciation of the word 'yes' too is a treat. 

If someone was to give me a lot of money, I would set a new, exciting, X-Files-like show in the eating area.  It is small and looks out through large windows into utter darkness.  I sit there and imagine all types of ghoulies and thump-in-the-nightarians drifting out of that darkness.  But one time, my dreams became a reality.

I was eating the West-Lake duck, which is a favourite of mine, and I turned to look out the window while imaging myself sitting across from a small, pretty and feisty redhead, who was keenly but all-so-incorrectly pointing out the scientific flaws in current speculations as to what mythical monster has turned up in the Dandenong mountains, to be sighted by only a small collection of trustworthy but otherwise socially-rejected people. 

That is when I saw a strange, blurry shape come out of the darkness and approach the window.   The lighting in the place is so dim that it projected little into the external gloom.  But the creature came forward unhesitant and stood, fully visible to my astonished eyes.

It was over eight feet tall when you took into consideration its ears.  It was by them that I made my first guess of what the thing might be.  I was thankful that, for once, I had brought a camera device and I was actually able to get the photo below.   It enabled me to input that data directly into my Cryptozoological database, so that I can now say with some confidence that it was actually a manifestation of the Cosmic Pink Marshmallow bunny.   Take a look at the photo and see if you draw the same conclusion. 

I was concerned that my duck was getting cold.   What to do?  You see, I am somewhat of a messy eater and I have to concentrate on inserting the food into my mouth without letting it tumble and cascade down my frame.  So, I tried keeping one eye of the fluffy phantom and the other on my meal.

However, I have to report that I liked the meal too much and it won through.   The confectionary creature seemed to scowl, and then it backed away into the darkness again, its giant, slightly misshaped face gradually becoming more indistinct.  

Having been satisfied with that experience, I ordered myself some Chinese sausage too, so that I may chew and ruminate the reason that the great god of marshmallow had chosen to visit me that night.  Was I destined to roast on his eternal campfire, or would I instead sup on his gooey-warm, fluffy filling until the final day of Ragnarok.   Only time ....and perhaps another visit to the Jade Valley, will tell.

Excellent food, old school suburban decor. We go here all the time and it's always delicious... The owner is lovely and it's worth trying...

We've eaten our way through probably most of the menu here and never been disappointed. In fact, the standard is often surprisingly good. The owner is a tremendous hostess, too: always friendly, always courteous and always efficient. It's a great place to eat!